|Howie Carr is a raging douchebag
||[Feb. 1st, 2007|04:33 pm]
The Boston Community
His take on the Aqua Teen sign ordeal...|
Joke’s on terror-scare slacker ‘Borat’ now
By Howie Carr
Boston Herald Columnist
Thursday, February 1, 2007 - Updated: 03:40 PM EST
Peter “Borat” Berdovsky is officially a victim now. The poor newcomer to our shores (Really? He came here 11 years ago and he's a newcomer?), this wannabe political “refugee,” is being persecuted by The Man, made a fall guy by Big Animation for the moronic Turner Broadcasting terror stunt.
He’s a refugee all right - from a Beavis and Butthead episode. This nerd is the full slacker package - Mass. College of Art, a goatee, stringy hair, a self-described “artist” with an avant-garde rock band. The only fact that’s out of place is that he actually has his own place, but then, his mother is still in Europe (a long commute) and we’ll add a few points back to his overall slacker score for the fact that he lives in a “loft.”
So they were out there this morning at the Charlestown District Court, Borat Berdovsky’s fellow “artists,” the synonym for which is “unemployed.” The artists were protesting his incarceration, and holding signs saying “Never Forget.”
Dude, that’s easy for you to say. Never forget? You haven’t had any of this weed, man. It’s, like, totally. Uh, I lost my train of thought.
That’s one of the things about this moronic cartoon show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. It’s only 15 minutes long, but if you’ve done a couple of bones, man, it seems like an hour. The “artists” are saying that the cops and the reporters are hopelessly lame because they don’t get off on a show in which one of the main characters is named “Meatwad.”
Dude, we’ve got, like, jobs. And kids.
“Anyone under the age of 35,” said one of the protestors, who was somehow able to get a day off from work, “knew this was a joke the minute they saw it.”
Yeah, anyone under the age of 35 who still lives at home with Mom, wears a baseball cap backwards and is saving money for a new tattoo.
Borat Berdovsky is from Belorusa... (Um do you mean Belarus, Howie? You might want to learn the name of a country before proceeding to berate it and the people that come from it.)... and now lives in Arlington, which was once a working-class town. But it has long since been now transformed by Cambridge potheads into another People’s Republic, represented in the legislature by the likes of Jim Marzilli. Needless to say, the Arlington moonbats are falling into line behind legal alien Borat.
Here’s an e-mail making the rounds in Arlington, sent by a woman named Hillary with a hyphenated last name:
“As a former Brackett After school parent, where Peter worked (maybe still works as far as I know), I know Peter as a nice guy who was great with the kids. My son described him as ‘gentle, peaceful, harmless.’ It’s a shame the way he’s being portrayed.”
Hillary, even your governor, Deval Patrick, is bent out of shape about this. No driver’s license for you, Borat!
Of course Mumbles Menino doesn’t help his own cause, going on national TV to rant about “suspicious bombs.” But that’s Mumbles. What exactly is Borat’s defense? Every time you walk into an airport terminal, what’s the first thing you hear on the loudspeaker?
“Do NOT leave luggage unattended. If you see any unattended packages, please alert authorities IMMEDIATELY.”
And this gentle, peaceful, harmless Russian, along with his sidekick, whom I hesitate to call a Townie because I’ll bet he grew up in the ’burbs, leave packages not only unattended, but they have wires coming out of them, and batteries, both of which the cops have been trained to look for.
Borat Berdovsky calls it “a work of art.” (Really? When did he say that? I love all the spin the story has been getting simply because Peter and Stephen are both freelance artists.)
That must be because the character is making an obscene gesture. Nothing says Art-with-a-capital-A like an upraised middle finger.
Hey Borat, you’re not a citizen? That’s too bad. How does five years at Cedar Junction sound, followed by a steerage-class flight back to the Third World hellhole from which you came, to annoy the taxpaying citizens? It’s from us to you, Borat. Don’t consider your deportation an obscene gesture. Think of it as a work of art, in progress.